RELATIONSHIPS: THE COURAGE TO STAND ALONE

unconditionedconsciousness:

“Relationships do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Nobody else is responsible for your feelings. This realisation can end the blame game once and for all, and leave you standing in your true place of power – the present moment.

The energies alive in your body right now were not ’caused’ by anyone else, and nobody else can take them away.

Yes, others may trigger latent pain and sorrow and disappointment in you, they may contribute to the field in which your old, unresolved pain can resurface, but they cannot make you feel how you feel.

Nobody can make you happy, nobody can make you unhappy. You are only invited, constantly, to meet what remains unmet in yourself, to touch what you never wanted to touch, to explore the field.

Making others responsible for how we feel is the beginning of all violence, both internal and external, all conflict between people, and ultimately all wars between nations.

Let others off the hook. Honour what is alive in you right now. Learn to hold your own feelings like beloved children, however intensely they burn and scream for attention.

Celebrate the aliveness in your hurt, the vibrancy of your disappointment, the electricity of your sadness. Kneel before the power in your anger, honour its burning creativity.

From this place of deep acceptance, you do not become weak and passive. Quite the opposite. You simply enter the world from a place of non-violence, and therefore immense creative power, and you are open to the possibility of deep listening, honest dialogue, and unexpected change.

In suffering you become small. In love, anything is possible.

~ Jeff Foster

Tired

rogueonme:

It starts with being tensed everywhere, my shoulders, my lower back.
I am so tensed by my thoughts, it makes my heart raise. They are going left to right by a situation that requires to be still and needs to be accepted for what it is; just a situation.

I am not this situation and this situation has no value on itself, other than how I feel and think about it.
I am doing this to me, and the fact I can’t accept it, makes my thoughts run in all different directions. Overthinking, over feeling, over-fucking-whelming me.
I am clearly not behind the wheel and this gives me anxiety.

So I start by releasing my muscles, give them back to my body, a body that just is. The mind is so powerful, especially when it is working against you, moving from fear, the worst advisor there is.

I relax my shoulders, I breathe in and out steadily, I focus on my heart and all its chambers welcoming me. I accept what is. I separate feelings from facts.
I even accept my thoughts going everywhere and understand that this is done by me, which gives me a chance to change it.

Do I wish to be this way? When it gives me nothing? It is too much pondering about the past, too much longing for what could be, constantly living everywhere except for right here; a place where I can actually change things?

Because only here can I choose the meaning and value of this situation.
Only here can I decide to no longer let it take hold of me, I can choose to take a few steps back and look at it, feelings from facts, this also is merely a moment, and will pass.

I am great at detaching, but it is the art of connecting without it taking away your peace. I become stable, I was never meant to be without connections, but I know now that my fear of abandonment has often turned me into a dragon, burning everything in her way, when all she wanted was to be held, mostly by herself. It’s Okay, the past can no longer make my decisions for me and although my dragon has often protected me, it has also kept me from what could have been a healthy connection.

Self-accountability, I see it, I can work with this, I know in my heart I am good and fearless, I am love and I am intuitive enough to go at it without carrying any weapons. You can never ‘have’ someone, or hold any control over what will come to you. Only your thoughts, this is where your control is, only in right now.

I go back to my situation. I see it for what it is, just a situation.
I accept it for what it is, my thoughts become lines, moving forward, my whole body is in a state of meditation, my heart rate has gone down, I am here and I look at it almost as if I wanted it to be this way, because it is this way and I rather charge at it than run away.

Because I’m tired, and I’m ready to not be tired anymore.

Everything we do is cycles of energy, low, high, exhausted, overcompensating, full. Work with your energy,
life is not acceleration, it is endurance.
Watch that heart rate. Walk the parts that need to be walked, drink something before you get thirsty, rest before you get tired. So many people nowadays running on fumes and it is up to us to refuse the pressure coming from western society.
You are, not what you need to become or were, you are.
And you are worthy enough by just breathing.